Tag Archives: internal conflict

Winds of Change

The new year has barely begun and it feels like I’m already ahead of myself.  I’ve found myself looking far beyond the horizon wondering if I’m ready for some change in my social life.

I feel like I’ve been putting distance between me and a few others.  I don’t know what to make of this increasing distance: is it the result of me no longer accepting people because I don’t like them?  Or, is it the result of me realizing that there was never a place for such people to begin with?

I still remember someone I know telling me he believes in making as many friends as possible because it’s his way of making the most of his life.  Admirable?  Sure.  Ridiculous?  Sure.  But why do I find it ridiculous?  Why, because he has a different way of thinking than I do?  Because he is more open while I’m more guarded?

It’s never really been about the quantity for me; I don’t seek more people to follow me or to befriend me.  I don’t have 300 followers on Twitter while others are desperate to feel important by getting spambots to follow them.  It’s crazy, they go all over the place on Twitter begging people to follow back while hoarding more and more followers just to reach an arbitrary milestone, like 1,500, or 2,000, or more.  “OMG I FEEL IMPORTANT!”  Please.

I really don’t know if my patience has already run out with certain people or if I’ve finally realized that these people never should’ve had a place in my life to begin with.  It’s impossible to keep such undesirables out before day 1 (not even SaBROmetrics could do this) but I’d like to think that I’m more cognizant now of what grinds my gears; I’ve gained better awareness and a better understanding of when someone has overstayed his or her welcome.

Tagged , , , ,

You May Make the Decisions But They Are Never Always the Right Ones

This is an internal conflict that everyone has.  I may not have the actual numbers but I can say confidently everyone has had a tough choice to make in life.

The tough decisions never happen just once.

We may all make a tough choice but how the decision affects us is different.  Ideally we are supposed to learn from our mistakes when we make the wrong choice but a lot of us (myself included) make the same mistakes again and again.

At what point do we finally realize that we’re doing it wrong and finally make a change?  It’s hard to say because I have yet to devise a saBROmetric stat that can calculate the exact point we have that epiphany (it would likely use the concept of limits for those familiar with calculus).

But if you ask me why people make the same mistakes again and again, it’s because we’re gamblers.

When a person has a goal set out for himself (or herself), the mission is to accomplish that goal (obviously).  We try to accomplish this mission in a variety of ways that all include ignoring the advice of friends.  When we have a goal in mind, we all act more irrationally and do things we otherwise would not do.

And why?  Because we really hope and pray it will all work out.  With reward comes risk—sometimes a significant amount of it—and we cannot hope to win without at least trying first.  Isn’t it amazing?

This also explains why we make the same mistakes and why we lose out.  Because it is exactly like gambling.  A person will always bet on the same horse to win or play the same lottery numbers, or keep playing the penny slots even if he has already lost $456.  We put ourselves through a period of torture in the hopes it will be “worth it” when we achieve victory and experience all the ecstasy that comes with it.

I’m going through this now, as are a lot of people.  I’ve always had moments where I had to make choices and have usually made the wrong ones consistently.  I might as well bet on hoping I make the right choice and some good fortune comes my way.

Tagged , , ,