Last week, I asked if it was possible to quantify friendships (read Part 1 here). Let’s continue that conversation.
I attempted to come up with a way to quantify friendships through assigning scores to those you hang out with. These hang outs came to be known as “Social Experiences,” or “Experiences” for short. (Once again, I’ll just refer to them as “Experiences” from this point on.)
Some tenets (not “tenants”) of these Experiences that I posted about last week:
- Whenever you have an Experience, you set goals for yourself subconsciously.
- The number of goals that are successfully achieved correlates with the Experience being good or bad.
- The more bad Experiences you have with one person means that that particular friendship will have a lower score. After all, why would we socialize with those whom we don’t have fun with?
So, let’s put this into practice through a hypothetical scenario. I’ll meet up with a person and we agree to meet for dinner. I’m arranging to hang out because this friend has a relatively moderate to high Social Score (had to come up with a name eventually, right?). If you’re wondering: YES, we usually specifically hang out with those who have high Social Scores.
We’ve hung out before and most hang outs were fairly successful. Some bad times interspersed here and there but nothing to change things too drastically.
Goals for the night:
- Enjoy dinner
- Catch up on things
- Make the friend feel happy.
(While goals can be established beforehand, understand that there may be contingent goals that come up during the course of the hangout.)
Last week, I mentioned that there could be obstacles that would thwart goals from being a success. These could be any of the following:
- The friend brings along a friend whom I don’t know and ends up being an annoyance
- The friend brings up conversational topics not appropriate for discussion
- He/she smells bad
- He/she cancels last minute
- (For the older crowd of males seeking to spread the apple seeds from your Johnny) You want to hook up with her but she says you can’t. You’re now left with azure spheres and batting gloves that go unused. (Euphemisms were used here, just to point out)
These will collectively lower the Social Score of the friend and already drive the Social Score of the friend’s friend well into the negatives.
Then, there is even more to ponder if your hangouts consist of a lot of people:
- Should the Social Score be watered down when more people are around?
- Should spending time with a specific person (and having fun) be more valuable than spending time with a lot of people and having fun?
The second point I think this is worthy of discussion in the future; personally I think it has merit because you would put a LOT more at stake in Social Scores if you’re on a date with your girlfriend as opposed to a night out with the guys from work)
So how should one’s overall Social Score be calculated? Should it be a straight mean, where you add up all the scores and divide by the number of Experiences? Or should it be weighted? But where would the extra weight be? How much more would a very good Experience be worth? Is there a single way to quantify a Social Score, now that we know that it’s more than just A + B = C?
This is just a very objective, black-and-white way of looking at things. Actions tend to be far more grey where one person can do something that is seen as positive (lending to a positive Social Score) but someone else could see it as a negative (resulting in a lower Social Score). That alone could be the subject of a future post.